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Narcissistic Personality Symptoms

  1. grandiosity / exaggeration
  2. fantastic thinking / romantic
  3. believes special / unique
  4. requires admiration
  5. entitled / demanding
  6. exploitive / manipulative
  7. lacks empathy
  8. envious / jealous
  9. arrogant / haughty

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All text is copyrighted © Stephen McDonnell 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007,2008, 2009. 2010, 2011.


Sexual Abuse by Narcissist

Sex is a way of controlling others.

"Nothing about having a 176 IQ means you have good judgment," said Anderson's lawyer, Barry Tarlow. Quote from 'Jury in LA finds prominent geneticist guilty of molestation'

I am NOT accusing all narcissists of being sexual predators, nor of having low or no morals. But there are narcissists, and people with other personality disorders and mental disorders, whose symptoms may lead them to hyper-sexuality. The somatic narcissist gains narcissistic supply and admiration from sexual conquests. Normally the somatic narcissist stays within the law, but may break the rules of morality of a society. Narcissist are careful because, even if they do not feel guilty, they want to avoid the shame of discovery. At one time they were careful to avoid the lime light, today they have their own web sites or TV shows.

The modern Divas or Don Juans need attention and will accept sexual attention as their due. They love being photographed and talked about. They like showing that they can break moral and sexual taboos (women singers kissing each other on TV shows). Attention is what they live for, they have very shallow personalities - many are serial lovers, marrying or having countless empty affairs. 'Hooking up' is the modern term used for an empty sexual encounter, much like going to a prostitute or gigolo. Friend with benefits or Bob, battery operated boyfriend, is modern masturbation. A hyper-sexualized society, with narcissistic leanings, will probably lead to more unhappiness, and unfulfilled needs. Emotions and commitments are to be avoided by a narcissist who doesn't want to face them selves or want to fulfill other's real needs.

Over the years I have known and read about professional people - doctors and lawyers - who have sexually abused their entourage. Therapists are in positions of power over patients who may be sexually vulnerable. Some in power, say a teacher, may feel empowered by admiring students resulting in a feeling of narcissistic hedonism. When do they cross the line and why?

I've known many a narcissist who was charming and seductive, graced with a glib tongue and a worldly manner, who could not keep his or her hands off the women, or men. Men and women with narcissism may seek sexual gratification as a way getting narcissistic attention/supply - they may say they are addicted to sex, but it is the attention and control they crave.

Most adults can brush off such offish behavior, but children are more vulnerable. If the abuser is a relative, or someone in power, the child has no recourse, he or she may not be believed, or they may feel it is normal. Alice Miller and others have written about abuse by parents and people in authority; sexual exploitation of children is a heinous act. A narcissist who commits sexual abuse on a child feels powerful because they feel they can control the victim while thumbing their nose at society and its laws.

On the other hand, there are false victims who cry fowl to seek revenge for being rejected, or to get attention. Sexual abuse is a mine field. Beware of being manipulated by the narcissistic adult and narcissistic child; both can be dangerous.

Be especially wary of the narcissistic therapist!

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