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Narcissistic Personality Symptoms

  1. grandiosity / exaggeration
  2. fantastic thinking / romantic
  3. believes special / unique
  4. requires admiration
  5. entitled / demanding
  6. exploitive / manipulative
  7. lacks empathy
  8. envious / jealous
  9. arrogant / haughty

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All text is copyrighted © Stephen McDonnell 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007,2008, 2009. 2010, 2011.

U

WHY

When you help yourself, you can help others...

Why have I put this site up on the internet? Firstly it has been therapeutic for me, and secondly it has helped some people who may have the same experiences as I have had with narcissism and narcissists.

For years I wondered if I was dealing with crazy people. Family, friends, lovers, work-mates, bosses, politicians etc... all acted strangely at times. Many of them had the same kind of behaviors - then I began to see a pattern. But I was ignorant. Even if I worked in the medical field, I had a huge blind spot when it came to psychiatry. Later I realized I had been raised to dismiss psychology and psychiatry. I was told,"No one is crazy in our family, everyone else was crazy." I was also told not to ask for help, to be self sufficient and finally to keep quiet.

Now I have broken all those rules. Oops, I let the cat out of the bag. I took the blinders off and it feels great! For over seven years I have been putting my thoughts on narcissism on the internet and getting feedback. Narcissists and victims have emailed me. In my professional and private life, I no longer feel like I am lost. My understanding of why and how people think has increased dramatically. As well, I know why and how I think and react. To live in ignorance is to live as a slave. Sam Vaknin once compared me to Spartacus, the liberator of the narcissist's slaves. (Ah, when the NPD shines his light on you!)

The Greek saying, "Know thyself" describes one of the hardest things to do in life. Because only by looking clearly at one self and one's actions, is there the possibility of seeing other people and understanding their actions. The Old Testament admonishes you to help yourself before you go looking to help others.

"Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye."

King James version of Bible

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